If you have been reading my blog over the last few years, you may have seen that stability, or rather instability, has been a big theme. So when I had to leave South Sudan earlier than expected, I choose to return to Richmond to be able to attend my home church and be near friends in search of a little stability.
It has been a whirlwind few months saying goodbye to South Sudan, finishing my graduate degree, reading about the recent conflict in South Sudan from afar, driving up and down the east coast a few times, and starting my job search. Through all of this, God has faithfully been my guide, providing exactly what I needed in each moment. This week though, I started to feel a bit lost.
Why? Because the door to being able to move to Richmond and have some stability has remained half open. It isn't closed. But it also isn't open. Some things are falling into place in a way that I couldn't have imagined possible, and I'm really excited about some of the opportunities God seems to be opening up for ministry in Richmond. As much as I'm excited about all these things, the reality is that to be able to move to Richmond, I need a full-time paid job, ideally in the non-profit sector. I've pursued several different options, but the door remains only half open.
I've started looking for jobs in other cities, but the half open in door in Richmond complicates things for me. What does it look like to patiently wait on the Lord and not stubbornly wait for my own desires? Is there anything else I can do in pursuit of a job in Richmond?
Clearly I long for more stability, particularly in community and friendships, so the moment Steve spoke the word stability in his sermon yesterday, he had my undivided attention.
"The very foundation, the thing that holds us up, the thing that gives us stability, the thing from which we draw nutrition, all of that, is the love of Christ.
If you do not feel, if you do not understand the love of Christ, there will be no stability in your life." ~ Pastor Steve
Talk about perfect timing. Yesterday I needed to be reminded of the gospel and repent of the ways I had been seeking stability outside of the love of Christ.
I'm still uncertain of a lot of things, including whether God will fully open the door to be able to live in Richmond, but my stability does not come from being a part of a particular community, my stability comes from the love the Christ.
Of course there are believers in Richmond, South Sudan, and around the world that are experiencing far more uncertainty and instability than I am in this season. My prayer is that they would also have the stability that comes with truly knowing the love of Christ.
This post seems like it could be part two of what God has been teaching me about His sufficiency in my life, particularly as it relates to community. Check out my post from October on the reality of community if you missed it.