Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Transition Attacks

This week for the first time since returning to the U.S. I have experienced the tell-tale signs of a missionary navigating yet another transition.

I titled this post transition attacks, but that it is what it feels like, an attack.  I'm just walking along, going through my day, and all of a sudden I can't make a basic decision or I'm overwhelmed by emotion that significantly exceeds the magnitude of the trigger.  

Why this week? The whirlwind of leaving South Sudan, finishing grad school, and moving to Richmond is over.  More importantly, the recent violence in South Sudan has lasted over a month.  It isn't new, and so the shock is over and the grief has started in earnest. 

This transition in particular has come with a lot of grief and there has been little time until now to mourn the losses.  

I'm thankful that there are people in my life who are right there with me in this season.  I'm not happy that they are also grieving, but there is great comfort in being known, and these women know my heart because it looks a lot like their own.  There is even greater comfort that Jesus, "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief," knows my heart.  (Isaiah 53:3)

Those who asked about South Sudan or any number of other topics related to my transition back to life in the U.S. probably found me at a loss for words this week.  It has been a Beams of Heaven kind of week, clinging to hope even when Satan's cause seems to gain.  So thank you to all who have shown me (and my teammates) grace in this season of uncertainty and transition.

Additional Note: There are hard and sad moments when I feel the way I described above, particularly after reading news about South Sudan, but it is a normal part of transition in these circumstances.  I really am doing well.

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